Posts Tagged Observation

Is it true

I observed that i can lift weights with ease between 8-9 PM and i feel completely lethargic and need tons of energy to lift the same weights between 6-7 PM. Is it true with everyone out there? I popped the same question to a friend of mine who is regular to gym.  He didnt give me any ‘plausible reason, but advocated my observation.

Free advice : You are better off lifting weights late in the evening (after 7:30 PM) rather than early in the evening.


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Being blunt

While working with people from different cultures coming from different places, speaking various languages, we learn a lot. Also, We observe people with different attitudes and characteristics. Good and bad. Tolerable and intolerable. Funny and foolish. Intelligent and innocent. Some of these traits are acquired through their culture, some by their upbringing and some mysteriously. Without beating the bush lets come to the subject at hand.

Being blunt is good in certain situations and is just simply unacceptable in many situations. Especially while working as a professional, we are expected to follow the etiquette. Today i got the privilege to witness how being totally blunt evoke negative reactions from others. Learned a lesson from this episode.

“It is not good to be totally blunt. But at the same time there is no need to distort what we wanted to say. Always find a way to articulate. Exception: There might arise few circumstances which demand us to pour our feelings bluntly. But these circumstances are very FEW”

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Of late, I was thinking what could be the root of many problems and found “expectations” as the real perpetrator behind most of the problems in our day-to-day life. We all have expectations and we expect others to behave in a manner that is in accordance with our expectations.

Parents make a good example. They expect their kids to perform well in the school, get good grades, get admits to top/ivey league schools. And their expectations doesn’t end there. It is just the beginning. They expect him/her to work in a top company and move up the ladder swiftly.  They expect exponential increase in salaries. They expect him/her to marry a beautiful girl/handsome hunk and settle in life. And they do expect a lot of other things such as the number of kids that his son/daughter should have. They even expect that his son/daughter name their grandson/granddaughter that pleases them. They might expect a lot more. Everyone has expectations and it is totally correct on the parents part to have expectations on their kids. I am not saying that having expectations is crime. Its just that when we fail to meet their expectations, it causes excruciating mental pain.

On a lighter note: A project manager can be a splendid example.  A manager expects the team to finish the tasks before the deadline. He expects everyone in the team to be in office at time. He expects a lot of other things. But does the team meet his expectations? More often than not, the team fails to meet his expectations which leads to rising tempers. With this Root cause analysis (Yes, i am green belt six sigma certified, lemme boast. i don’t do this oft) i can say that expectations cause problems.

On a personal note: last week i visited someone very close to me and i expected them to share some news with me. I know the news but i expected them to share with me. They didn’t and i felt real bad. And i felt bad feeling that i felt bad that they didn’t share the news initially. This lead me to think ‘why am i feeling bad’ for something that is not in my control. And i found that “expectations” made me feel bad.

Let me substantiate my thoughts with few quotations from some great people.

‘Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed’ – Alexander Pope.

Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise. – Alice walker

Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation – Charlotte Bronte

Expecting the world to treat you fairly
because you are a good person
is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian. –
Dennis Wholey

Note: This post is not about self expectations. Its only about expectations we have on others and the expectations that others have on us.

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Mommies confidence

I have seen few women metamorphose from being a single woman to a married woman and then to a mother. I must say that it is quite a transformation. Many of girls i knew are a little timid and diffident before marriage. They normally feel shy and when in public, they speak in low pitch. Even after they are married they still feel that shyness to a certain extent. But they do gain some self confidence (assuming happy marriage). Once they landed in that coveted motherhood stage, they get that magical confidence. I don’t understand where they acquire this from.

It might be that motherhood brings with it loads of responsibility. Mothers have to take care of kids, finish their daily chores and tend to their job (if working). To effectively manage all these activities she has to do multitasking. And to achieve success in multitasking she has to rise to the occasion and act. If she feels uncertain then many things will go out-of-order. I believe that this fear makes her mentally strong.

There might be many who may not agree with my viewpoint. And they are right in their own way. Some girls are innately confident and my views just doesn’t apply to them.

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