Archive for June, 2008

Expectations

Of late, I was thinking what could be the root of many problems and found “expectations” as the real perpetrator behind most of the problems in our day-to-day life. We all have expectations and we expect others to behave in a manner that is in accordance with our expectations.

Parents make a good example. They expect their kids to perform well in the school, get good grades, get admits to top/ivey league schools. And their expectations doesn’t end there. It is just the beginning. They expect him/her to work in a top company and move up the ladder swiftly.  They expect exponential increase in salaries. They expect him/her to marry a beautiful girl/handsome hunk and settle in life. And they do expect a lot of other things such as the number of kids that his son/daughter should have. They even expect that his son/daughter name their grandson/granddaughter that pleases them. They might expect a lot more. Everyone has expectations and it is totally correct on the parents part to have expectations on their kids. I am not saying that having expectations is crime. Its just that when we fail to meet their expectations, it causes excruciating mental pain.

On a lighter note: A project manager can be a splendid example.  A manager expects the team to finish the tasks before the deadline. He expects everyone in the team to be in office at time. He expects a lot of other things. But does the team meet his expectations? More often than not, the team fails to meet his expectations which leads to rising tempers. With this Root cause analysis (Yes, i am green belt six sigma certified, lemme boast. i don’t do this oft) i can say that expectations cause problems.

On a personal note: last week i visited someone very close to me and i expected them to share some news with me. I know the news but i expected them to share with me. They didn’t and i felt real bad. And i felt bad feeling that i felt bad that they didn’t share the news initially. This lead me to think ‘why am i feeling bad’ for something that is not in my control. And i found that “expectations” made me feel bad.

Let me substantiate my thoughts with few quotations from some great people.

‘Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed’ – Alexander Pope.

Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise. – Alice walker

Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation – Charlotte Bronte

Expecting the world to treat you fairly
because you are a good person
is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian. –
Dennis Wholey

Note: This post is not about self expectations. Its only about expectations we have on others and the expectations that others have on us.

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Let me tell you something you already know

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!” – Rocky Balboa

I still remember the day i watched Rocky6. My spirits were down and i forced myself out of office by 4pm. I got the urge to watch some movie. Browsing through the pack of dvds, i found Rocky lying in a corner. I liked the movie and more over, it raised my drooping spirits. what next!!! i borrowed the whole rocky series (along with pumping iron)  from a friend and watched the remaining 5 parts in a span of two days.

Now lemme make few recommendations.

a. Eye of the tiger: You can use this sound track to get instant inspiration. It can also be used while participating in body building competitions.

b. Rocky2 training: You can get this video from youtube. Watching this before a workout session boosts your will power.

c. Rocky3,4 training: Same as point b.

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I will try my best

I heard many people saying “i will try my best” numerous times and in most cases they don’t. They didn’t give their best. But they declared in public that they will try and do that something to the best of their abilities. I must say that “I will try my best” has become a trite these days. Nobody seems to believe in that. yet, people use this in certain situations and today, like everyone else i am declaring openly in this post that i will try my best to be regular in blogging. It is not an oath but something very close to that.

I have my own reasons that lead me to take this decision. I got an email couple of days (may be four days) ago, congratulating me on completing 3 years of employment in my company. Actually, i didn’t realized this until i saw that email from HR. The moment i read the email, i lost in my own world. I tried to recall what happened in the last 3 years and unfortunately i couldn’t recall much. Time does run fast.

Since i doubt my recalling abilities, i decided to blog. This way few years from now, if i look back, atleast i will have a record of what i was thinking at that time.

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I will wait for the next one

I am punctual in few activities and going to canteen in the evenings is one of them. Over days, it has become a ritual. And as part of my routine i was looking at the people surrounding me while slowly sipping fruit juice. Today i observed a girl (mid twenties) on the QT munching morosely from her plate. She looked dull and desperate to me. My unintentional observation might be totally wrong. But atleast this is what i thought.

She reminded me of a documentary i saw on Pangea day in star world, titled “I will wait for the next one“.

A subway in Lyon: “Ladies and Gentlemen, ever so sorry to bother you. Don’t worry, I’m not here to beg for money. Let me introduce myself. My name’s Antoine. I’m 29. I recently read in a magazine that there are about 5 million single women in France. Where are they? I’m looking for a lady aged between 18 and 55 who‘s also had trouble meeting someone in a conventional way and who wouldn’t mind giving a honest relationship with someone a shot…”

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Why vote obama

A must read insightful article named America is willing to change on why you should vote for Barack Obama.

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Snap previews and other news

My previous blog has snap previews enabled and initially, i quite liked this feature and was happy about it. It gives me preview of the website almost the moment the mouse hovers over the link. Usually i include very few/limited links in my posts and snap previews doesn’t bother me much. But imagine blogs by those who include way too many links in their posts. In this case snap previews become irritable.

Some one who shares my views..

In other news, we have clinton who failed to position herself as a democrats nominee (Road to second place). Its a bad news for many Indians. I heard that Indians in US are supporting Hillary as her policies are amiable to Indians (in terms of outsourcing, visas and immigration). Though there is lots of unwanted hoopla surrounding the democratic candidates, finally the republican McCain will have the last laugh.

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Mommies confidence

I have seen few women metamorphose from being a single woman to a married woman and then to a mother. I must say that it is quite a transformation. Many of girls i knew are a little timid and diffident before marriage. They normally feel shy and when in public, they speak in low pitch. Even after they are married they still feel that shyness to a certain extent. But they do gain some self confidence (assuming happy marriage). Once they landed in that coveted motherhood stage, they get that magical confidence. I don’t understand where they acquire this from.

It might be that motherhood brings with it loads of responsibility. Mothers have to take care of kids, finish their daily chores and tend to their job (if working). To effectively manage all these activities she has to do multitasking. And to achieve success in multitasking she has to rise to the occasion and act. If she feels uncertain then many things will go out-of-order. I believe that this fear makes her mentally strong.

There might be many who may not agree with my viewpoint. And they are right in their own way. Some girls are innately confident and my views just doesn’t apply to them.

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